If only I knew how people will remember me.

I just watched If Only sung by Carrie Hope Fletcher and towards the end in the screen appears "If it wasn't for my mum and dad I never would have figured it out who I'm meant to be" and I had some questions.

Who is she meant to be? Does she tag herself as a youtuber? A singer? A writer? Maybe she's meant to be herself.

And I asked that exact same question to myself:

Who am I meant to be? Will my future job define me? Will I be my grades? My weight? Will I be known as the "chubby girl"? Or the girl who drastically disappear from high school? Maybe the girl who was rude to people?

I don't want to be remembered for the bad things I did, for the people I've hurt, the hearts I've broken, the bad choices I've made. I don't want to be remembered for my mistakes.

I want to be remembered for me.

But that's really hard, cause we're changing all the time, everyday, every month, and every year. And not all of the people we are friends with today will still be our friends 3 years down the road. And they'll remember us for who we are today. And that's okay, at least half-okay. They can't remember us for someone they didn't get to see, because they walked away too soon, or maybe we were the ones who walked away.

But, how will you remember the people you're friends with now in 2019? Think of your best friends, think of your actual boyfriend or girlfriend. How will you remember them? As lovely or funny? Then chances are you won't remember them.
Sadly, the memories of those who have hurt us are more clear. It's easier to remember the pain than to remember the happiness.

I want to change that.

I want to be remembered for bringing people so much happiness they will never forget it.