Daisies are dumb, Jasmines are too. I love Koalas, and mental illness are serious.

Hello, my name is Olivia, daisies are numb and I'm really angry.

It all started as a really good day, I've slept in my friend's house (we were all alone so that's new to me) and it was really cool, we watched the two Percy Jackson's movies (now I want to read the books) I tried reading the first one and it bore me to hell so I didn't finished it

At first I was scared, as I'm a really dependent girl (trying really hard not to be) but it all turned out pretty well. I actually felt like we were the Paige and Sasha from Life Partners (lovely movie, watched it again today with my boyfriend, 2nd time in 3 days, ooops)  and it felt FUCKING AWESOME, I mean, how many times you have a friend you can tell everything and fart in their presence and not feel awkward at all? Yes, not many, that's why I love her.

There was a moment I was lying in bed with her (cause we had to sleep in the same bed, still not awkward at all) and I realized how lucky I am, there are tons of times during the day that I feel like I'm truly, really, happy. And I love that feeling.

Going back to sunday, I couldn't sleep at all, well. I slept a little bit, and I dreamed during that bit that I was interviewing J.K.Rowling and she was poor because her books weren't bought any longer (Is crazy, right?)

I've had a barbecue with my boyfriend's family, it was all really weird and I even started getting anxious, I was trembling, and afraid to move. There were ton of unfamiliar faces there, and his uncles talk really loudly and his aunt gave me a plate of rice bigger than the Everest, not even kidding.
I got really well with his brother, he's really cute, aw, and I felt sad becuse the dogs were treating really bad there, dogs need to run, that's a fact.

Slowly, the anxiousness (Is that a word?) started fading, (not completly tho) and obvs I felt better.

I saw him again, and I felt so loved and like I loved him so much that makes me wanna cry of happiness, it's like a song I wrote recently, "When I'm in your arms, I'm home" that's exactly how I feel about him, he makes me feel like I'm home, sad thing I didn't get to hold him much when we were in that barbecue, I was too shy. Going back to him, I love him, I don't think I can love anyone or anything more than I can love him. It's all so crazy. It's like a dream. I don't even know how to explain myself, words were never my strongest point. Do you know that feeling that you'd give every single thing you have for someone, a book, a computer, an arm, your life? Something like that, some may think I'm crazy, but I think I'm in love. And maybe they're synonyms. You can't love if you aren't a bit crazy, and to be crazy you need to be in love. That's why it's so hard to fall out of love, because you still have one or both.

I'm not even angry anymore, I'm not even going to mention that my parents are trying to "normalise" mental illnesses. Well, maybe I will.

Dear mom and dad, I love you, but you don't know a shit about mentall illness, but I do. If someone rather die than to have bad marks, that's a serious problem, not being really dedicated to your studies.

Sincerely, Olivia.


PS: No one's going to read this but I don't give a flying fuck.

Daisies are dumb.